Parenting Is Scary...

Two weeks ago Brooke was very sick. Very, very sick. She was running a super high fever and nothing was helping. After a visit to Urgent Care, they decided she needed further testing and sent us on to Children's Mercy Hospital. We spent the day there having many tests done. She continued to be very listless and unresponsive. Her and I sat in the small room of the hospital in the dark. I quietly sang the same one line song I have whispered to all of my babies. I prayed. I prayed a lot. I prayed for her healing and for the doctors to figure out what was wrong with her. I also thanked God for her. It had been exactly two years since I was in the Emergency Room while pregnant with her and the doctor told us that we were losing the baby. They admitted me to the hospital and we waited...
And two years later, I was snuggling my miracle. The doctors decided her body was acting as though it was septic. They gave her a very strong IV antibiotic. It took about a week for her to be back to herself, but she seems to be doing better.
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On our way home from school yesterday, the big girls wanted "cheese sticks" as a snack so I stopped and grabbed them some. Brynn was sitting in the car eating her snack while I carried bags into the house. I came back out to grab another arm load of stuff and saw her struggling. She was not breathing... She couldn't tell me what had happened so I grabbed her out of the car. I squatted down in the front yard and put her over my leg and tried to get the food out of her throat. I didn't see a neighbor outside to help, so I did my best remembering what I had been taught about choking. Finally she coughed up a big piece of cheese and took a breath. She started crying from fear and then I started crying. We just sat in the front yard and hugged and cried. I asked her if she was ready to go inside yet and she said, "No. Just keep snuggling." It was freezing outside but we didn't seem to notice. We just kept sitting there snuggling.
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This parenting stuff is sure scary...